Allen Craig has a turtle. Read about his twitter account here.
And then read some of my favorite tweets. If it was a secret that this team was a TEAM before reading this, it won't be after. I go from most recent to older tweets. Just a few favs.
TortyCraigTorty Craig:
"I think I may wear a turtleneck for the game," said Jay. "It's pretty cold." "Don't you mean 'TORTYneck?'" asked Freese.
Master Allen asked, "Is that going to keep you warm enough? What about your legs? Here, put put on this extra pair of my sweatbands." I looked at the sweatbands & indeed they're essentially leg warmers. It seems that one man's sweatbands are a tortoise's leg warmers.
"All rise for his Honor, the Chief Justice," called out Adron. In walked Jon Jay. "He's getting carried away with his nickname," said Freese
Pujols came running into the clubhouse in his undies. "The doughnuts ha' arrive, mang! I could smell them! Gi' me the sprinkles box!"
Amongst our #STLCards there is a saying. "Berk gonna Berk." That majestic blast was an example. Halladay was Berked & Berked hard.
From Philly yesterday: When we emerged from the film room, the clubhouse had been ransacked. On the wall was a message: "UR GOING DOWN SENTRAL LOOZERS!"
Yadi crawled on all fours, scouring the floor. "Ah ha!" Yadi stood up with a green hair in his hand. "I know who the culprit is."
Yadi: "We're in the Fanatic's (green haired mascot) natural habitat. We're on his turf. We'll have to outsmart him. What we need is a plan..."
I ran as fast as my legs would carry me to Freese & Master Allen. The Fanatic was nearly upon me when they pulled the trip wire.
As the Fanatic wailed in anger Yadi appeared & doused him in red paint. Yadi grinned & said, "I love it when a plan comes together."
Yadi came to me & said, "I read your tweets from last night. You know that Phillie Phanatic is spelled with a P-H & not an F, right?"
I said to Yadi, "You've got to be kidding me. That's ridiculous. I suppose the Philadelphia spelling of David's last name is P-H-R-E-E-S-E."
In Philly we decided to watch a movie. The choice was between Jurassic Park & Goonies. We chose Jurassic Park for the velociraptors.
Hayes approached Master Allen & asked where I was. He replied, "Right over here, Mr. Hayes." Out popped Freese in full Ninja Turtle garb.
After Carpenter's lengthy post-game interviews for TV & radio we had the Empire's theme music queued up for Darth Carp's clubhouse entrance.
In Houston (mascot=rabbit). Mr. La Russa saw Junction Jack & said,"There's that damn rabbit." I said, "Don't worry, sir. I know how to beat hares."
Ryan Theriot came across the ESPN.com NLDS page. All the ESPN experts have picked the Phillies to beat the #STLCards. ~
Some were angry. Berkman chuckled. "Shoot, guys. They counted us out in Aug & Sept so why would we expect 'em to do any different in Oct?"
Berkman said: "They aren't in this clubhouse. They don't know this team. Well they're about to find out. We're gonna show 'em a thing or 2."
Jaime Garcia is leading the team in a conga line. His swivel hips are rather impressive. He could've been a champion salsa dancer.
Master Allen was pretty bummed after yesterday's loss. I told him the story of my ancestor to cheer him up: The Tortoise & the Hare.
Yesterday was a dance party & tonight is a luau. The veterans dressed B. Dickson up as a hula girl in coconut bra & grass skirt. He lai'd me. I was amazed that Lance Berkman had a roasted pig delivered for the luau. I asked him why. He just shrugged & said, "I got a raise, bro."
PS Freese's tweet "We did it!!!! Now we go. Thank u Cardinal Nation for believing!!! Best group of guys I've ever been around, top to bottom"
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