Waiting rooms

Waiting rooms are funny places.

You pick up a magazine to pass the time. A distraction. That's for those of us with dumbphones. 

You're aware that you're not there to read the magazine. You didn't take off work and drive 30 miles to sit with National Geographic for 20 minutes. 

And when the wait is longer than expected, it's easy to grow impatient, thinking of the things you left, or the things you have to return home to do. Impatience and discontentment often breed frustration or anger. 

Those arise from one thing: SELF. Selfishness. Self-serving. Self absorption. Self interest. 

It's easy for us to lose sight of others in our journeys. To tap the foot and thinking about how we were ready and standing at the registration desk on time. That we're going to be late for leaving to go home. 

When and how and why did that happen, and how do we redirect that in ourselves. 

How do we take advantage of the opportunities in the waiting room to pen a note, to write a story, to practice deep breathing, or to chat with those around us (I met some great friends in the student health waiting room at WU)?

How do we choose to consider that the dentist or therapist probably skipped lunch and hasn't gone to the bathroom all day because they had a patient tank and had to get them to a hospital?

How do we separate ourselves from the negative comments from those around us, who pressure us to see things this way?

The key is accepting opportunity. Greeting it with open hands. An open mind. A mind not consumed by frustration and anger. 

I've only found one way so far. It's praying. Praying for those ahead of you in line. Praying for those seeing the doctor. Praying for release from anger, for God to change your heart, and to help you love those around you, to nurture a spirit of giving. Praying for evenness of temper. 

With God, all things are possible. 

And what's more, God may have put you in that waiting room for a reason. Maybe to encourage someone. Maybe to make a new friend. Maybe to prayerfully intercede on their behalf.

The point of this isn't only about being calm waiting in grocery store lines or at the DMV.

Life holds waiting rooms for us all, and many don't come in the form of a room. 

I'm turning 26 in a week. I'm excited. And I'm also at peace with the waiting room that other people keep reminding me that I'm in. 

Single. Waiting on the Lord's will for that area of my life. 

I'm a natural nurturer. I'd love to be married and have kids one day...and that love was keeping me from putting God's will above mine if that's what he willed. I literally had to put that on the altar this year. 

Waiting was making me grumpy because it didn't serve my purposes. But it may serve another's. It may serve me in a way I can't even yet begin to fathom. 

I'll be real. Company helps. Knowing Rheanna and Ashley and Britt and other great, funny, intelligent, loving girls (who, contrary to popular thought, have no big flaw with them despite being over 25) are also walking this journey does make it easier. 

But I also feel that my will might have stunted my growth. I also feel like sometimes it's not about waiting, but preparing, and I am growing and preparing to be a responsible and (more) organized adult. 

I know that the Lord will guide me to use the talents that he gave to me for His glory, for His purposes, and that alone gives me the most joy and comfort. 

I just have to stop the mental registration of the clock ticking and open myself to the opportunities.

So yes, I'm 26 and joyfully single (though not necessarily always happy about it). And this year is all about recognizing opportunities to serve, and grace during the wait for whatever or whoever God has in store.