Today marked the end of an era.

I am no longer a student, but I find that I am still learning

about uncertainty

And how to approach it
Wrestle with it
Wrangle it
Embrace it
Be at peace with it

Because the last graduation celebration twisted into the first unemployment celebration,

And I do not live near my beloved WI site that recurrently offers me a job
So I am now again at the start of another new path

This time can be a gift or curse, depending on how I approach it.

One can't apply to jobs and study 24-hours a day,
So what else will I do to be productive?
How will I allow myself to be still?

But I wonder...do I try for the job in Williamstown, MA with a population of 7,000, or is that just a recipe for a long single life? (I am trying for it, and hoping that I would know what to do if I got the job).
Do I take the low reimbursement at a place like my last placement, or do I take the high pay at a setting that I am not certain about but think that I would like?

Will I make friends with nice young people, or will I stay somewhere because of pressure and end up looking back at my life like a movie on rewind and wishing, like my grandma said, that I had make a different choice?

Do I commit to a place for a certain number of years, or just see how it goes?

These were all things that I didn't have to wonder about until 3 months ago, when I decided that no, I don't think I will work at a children's hospital. Because then, the answers were "Yes, you'll have to move farther away; yes, you'll receive lower pay as far as reimbursement goes; all children's hospitals are in or near cities; yes, it will take you awhile to get a job."

So this day of completing my last rotation, a great rotation, is also filled with some pondering
continued head scratching
and a lot of trust.